The Safety Button
by Annikaya
Summary: Heero has always thought of himself as just a tool. When the war is over can he be convinced that he's more than that?


_Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and make no profit off of this story. Oh, and this is completely a friendship fic. I know there's one part where someone says the dreaded "love" word to someone of the same sex but I swear it's completely platonic. After all, it is possible to love someone as a friend or a brother or as a sister._

It should have surprised him when he opened the door and saw Heero there like that. It should have but it didn't. Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought maybe he'd been expecting it.

Expecting to find Heero with the gun to his temple.

After all, the wars were over. There was time to think. The Gundams and their pilots weren't needed.

When he heard the bedroom door open Heero whirled, instinctively going into a battle ready crouch and pointing the gun at the intruder. Instincts that were trained for life or death were still running hot on all of them but those skills had always been the best in the Perfect Soldier and he was never more dangerous than when caught unawares.

Duo didn't even blink, merely stepped into the room fully and shut the door behind him, granting them some privacy.

"Put your gun away Heero." And he looked straight into Heero's eyes and couldn't suppress the gasp that rose up in him. Heero's eyes were so full and deep. The window shade had been drawn up and the braided boy could see into them, see the wild swirls of hate and despair and desperation and hopelessness.

Startling him again, Heero threw the gun at him. He barely caught it.

"Duo Maxwell, also known as Shinigami, I request that you terminate my existence." So polite and formal, the mask the only thing keeping his shattered bits together.

"Why?"

Heero flinched. Duo would never have believed it if he hadn't seen it. "There is no need for soldiers anymore."

"I'm a soldier."

"You are not just a soldier. You are more. A soldier is all I am, all I can be. I have killed children and mothers, puppies, men. I would kill again with no compunctions. I could kill again on accident because that is what I was trained to do, what I am good at, what I do without even thinking." He paused and Duo could see the iron will he was exerting just to keep his voice steady and his hands steady. "Will you do it?"

"No. I will not take you. Death will not take you."

Heero's eyes hardened and his shoulders squared. "Why not?"

"Because I'm selfish Heero. I'm a selfish bastard and I need you. I am not letting you go." He watched amazed confusion spread through those eyes that were so rarely expressive.

Again Heero asked, "Why?"

Duo shrugged, unable to explain. But that didn't mean he wasn't serious. He was more serious than he'd been in his entire life. "I don't really know. Love isn't supposed to make much sense."

"Love..." He said the word slowly, as if testing it out. "Do you love me?" he demanded.

"Yes. Yes, I love you Heero Yuy."

"No one has ever said that to me before."

"Not even Relena?" Duo was surprised again.

"No. Relena liked to have me to lean on but she never loved me. No one has before."

"Quatre, Wufei, and Trowa do."

Heero didn't say anything. He just stood there looking confused.

"Heero...if you were to finally self-destruct...we would all bleed inside too."

"I didn't know."

Duo smiled and handed the gun back to his friend. "Yeah, well, just don't do it again."

There was something new in Heero's eyes, something bright and unfamiliar. It looked sort of like hope or maybe a future he hadn't seen before. "I won't."

And he clicked the safety on the gun.

_You're actually still reading? Wow! You get a cookie! Anyway, I hope you liked this. Personally, I don't think Heero would ever attempt to commit suicide after the series ended but I've read a lot about Heero's "last mission" and thought I'd take a stab at it. Anyway, review and let me know what you think about it. I LOVE reviews and it inspires me to write more. Besides, as this is practice for my future career as an actual writer, any advice you give me on what you liked or didn't like would really help me out. Thanks!_


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